The Intense Disappointment of Being a Patriotic, America-Loving Alternative Musician
As I begin to write the next Brainclaw album of electro-industrial songs, I am forced to come to grips with something that has mostly destroyed my love of music and undermined the respect I had for so many of my musical heroes. It all started for me with the American Presidential Elections of 2016. I cast my vote as I saw fit, and fortunately enjoyed four years of increased economic prosperity, increased standard of living for my family, safe borders, low crime and unemployment, as well as powerful standing among the nations of the world. It felt like reason had taken control here, and everything was going to be OK.
That is when the TDS began, especially in the music scene, the alternative music scene to be specific. I found myself ejected from one of the bands I started, I became an outcast in the Philadelphia music scene, such as it was, and I was abandoned by 99% of musical friends and collaborators.
All because I did my civic duty and cast a vote in a presidential election, as is my right. Apparently I chose INCORRECTLY.
I began to realize as well that almost all of my musical heroes and muses were infected with this new brand of leftism/socialism/communism/hatred of the land/culture that I loved, and which had given me countless opportunities to thrive. Peter Murphy, Thomas Dolby, Depeche Mode, Gary Numan and especially Devo, (among MANY others) began to write albums devoted to hating one man, and then tooling on an entire way of American life. I started to feel like I was in Invasion of the Bodysnatchers, and was one of the last free-thinking humans left alive.
And the pod people were coming for me hard. I was shamed in online communities for my opinions, I was blacklisted from ever performing anywhere locally again, I was ridiculed by people I had once called friends and fellow musicians.
Then, my logic being what it is, I began to go back and listen to KMFDM, Ministry, the Sisters of Mercy and many other old favorites with newly opened ears and a completely different mindset, and I was horrified to discover that most of my musical favorites were not just leftists, but were now rabid, mentally ill socialist/anarchist/communist ideologues who basically hated everything that America and our Constitution stand for, everything I hold dear about this great country and her way of life. I began to hear the same tired, predictable leftist talking points entering the lyrics of any new albums put out by my favorite musicians and groups.
I tried at first to push back in the chats of the social media owned by these groups, pointing out that crapping on America and her way of life isn’t a good thing because probably a third to a half of your fans are independents or conservatives, but I was burned off these chats by crazed, TDS-infected fans and sometimes by the musicians or moderators themselves. Dissenting opinions would NOT be tolerated.
Then suddenly, with no warning, Facebook decided to burn all of my accounts into the ground, including the Brainclaw Facebook account, destroying YEARS of work and curation, effectively silencing me forever in the digital realm. I lost connection to all of my remaining family and friends and fans in one night. No reason, given, no appeal available. I had committed WRONGTHINK, and I WOULD atone!
As these realizations dawned on me, little by little, I realized that I had to be true to who I was, and to my patriotic beliefs. America is still the best, freest, least oppressive, most accepting country in the world, but it is rapidly failing as I write this. If something drastic isn’t done, we will be absorbed into the growing Collective, and we will lose our culture and our way of life forever. We will go the way of most of Europe.
One of the strangest parts of all this is to realize those “creative and expressive” industrial goth people I called friends, those black-wearing, goofy dancing rivet-heads that loved Brainclaw and Carfax Abbey so much, and who knew all of our lyrics by heart, are now busy becoming foot-soldiers for today’s equivalent of the Brownshirts, the lovely leftist mob called Antifa. These are the people who are burning, looting and destroying cities, and beating independent and conservative people into bloody pulps across the country. Shaming them at restaurants. Forcing them into “struggle sessions” on college campuses and in public places. Banning old words and creating new, meaningless ones. Creating confusion and disorder around every established idea that we hold dear. The “commies,” hard at work, as usual, destroying America from within, while I watched in confused disbelief.
These people, whom I had shared stages with, and watched dancing madly to our songs, had made themselves into my ENEMIES. And not by MY choice! Even MORE depressing is the fact that I know little pockets of independent and conservative thought, musicians and DJs, right here in the greater Philadelphia area and across the country who are closeted and hiding, because they fear the retaliation of the WOKE mob if it were ever to leak out that they disagreed with the Collective. They make me the saddest, living in terror of who they are. Some want to work with me on future Brainclaw songs, but want their names kept secret… So sad.
Happily, I find much more satisfaction these days raising my children, reading books, prepping, shooting my AR15 and writing Brainclaw music by myself, so being completely purged from whatever is left of the “music scene” doesn’t bother me very much anymore. But I will not lie to you and say that I do not miss the camaraderie and collaboration that I once had. I cope with losing all of my favorite artists by mostly only listening to their older material, works that I loved before the advent of the internet, where all of their sordid personal information and political leanings are on vivid display now. I SO preferred these musicians before I knew much about them, and before the crazy leftism started seeping in. “Never meet your heroes” they say… and they are correct. You will be disappointed almost every time.
I will continue to do what I have always done, be true to myself, and maintain my small core of true friends who love me for who I am, my TRIBE, if you will, those who have always have my back. You ALL know who you are. Remaining Brainclaw and Carfax Abbey fans who still support my music, thank you. I will keep doing what I love, for as long as I am able, and getting that output over to you.
But realize this: I love America, I support her allies, I recognize and embrace all the innovation and value that Western Civilization had brought to the world, I respect and admire European explorers and all that they accomplished, I believe fully in our Constitution and Bill of Rights, ESPECIALLY the First and Second Amendments, I fully support our police and military, I prefer law and order to chaos and anarchy, and will staunchly defend all of them, with a skilled application of force, if ever called to do so. If you can’t handle all or part of that, it’s better that you leave now, and save us all from later disappointment. I have enough on my plate already. The Left has pushed this insane polarization and has set the current rulebook. I’m just following the rules they set for interactions. I guess I HAVE chosen a side. I choose my country and her Constitution.
God Bless America!
America will never be destroyed from the outside.
If we falter and lose our freedoms,
it will be because we destroyed ourselves.
– Abraham Lincoln
New Brainclaw song, “A Tension” mixing down.
We have been writing with some new tools, and working on the newest Brainclaw material in the last two weeks! The release last May of the long-awaited DECEPTOR closed a chapter in the Brainclaw story, and with the construction of this new song, “A Tension,” we are opening a brand-new chapter. We look forward to debuting new music for you soon! Stay tuned, Clawlings.
So… it begins again.
After so many years… it begins anew. STAY TUNED…
Brainclaw permabanned from Facebook and Messenger
Last week, Facebook decided we were simply too dangerous to leave with a public voice. Brainclaw, God Shaped Void, Independent Free Thinker and David’s personal account were all vaporized, no reason given, no appeal. These are the times we live in. If you think you won’t be touched, you are wrong. Keep your voices and fight back against tyranny wherever possible. We are already on Gab, Parler and remain on Instagram for the time being. We will go where the freedom is, period. When we lose our voices, we lose our ability to fight. If they keep pushing us into a corner, we may have to fight in other ways. That would be terrible. Carry on, friends.
Brainclaw’s new album DECEPTOR makes UK Top Fifty Albums of 2020
Brainclaw tracks released on four different industrial music compilation albums:
Shed the Parasite.
I think I finally and truly see the evil mechanism behind it all now. I like to think of myself as fairly intelligent and aware, and separate from negative influences, calm, shielded from it, by my better-than-average awareness and The Four Agreements, my faith, but I now see that I am just as enthralled to it as all of you.
I’m a puppet, my strings being pulled by forces that I willingly interface with on a daily basis. Damn, this is an insidious power. I don’t drink, I don’t smoke and I don’t use drugs, but I have a parasite on my back, just like everyone else.
I wanted to believe that I was different, somehow better than others, the rank and file zombies all around me. I was deluding myself. I see that now. I… KNOW things now. Things I shouldn’t. I have been down the rabbit hole and back again. I have some acquaintances in… interesting places. I have put most of the pieces together. I know what I should do. And yet…
It keeps me in its power by my thirst for knowledge. My compulsive need to know what is REALLY going on. My innate desire to SEE BEHIND THE SCENES. The Demon finds your lever and PUSHES DOWN. We each have our own different lever that can and will move us, every time. It is almost inescapable.
I have watched what I thought was the steady maddening and dissolution of our entire country, our society. Watched with mounting horror and disbelief that things could really get this bad, this quickly. The most shocking part was the seemingly complete and utter denial of actual events by half of our population. We seem to be in the grip of a madness, a mass hysteria that is inescapable. It’s like every dystopian sci-fi movie I have ever seen, rolled into one.
Demon, show me a crazy person lighting a fire, saying we are all evil, trying to destroy our way of life, and my emotional strings get yanked, setting the hook but good. I want them to stop, I want to REASON with them, and when that fails, to STOP them. Maybe even hurt them. My daughter. Always my daughter, what world will she inhabit? I MUST stop these crazy people who want to destroy HER world.
And THAT, in the end, is my lever. SHE is my weakness.
Yet, I look out my window each day and my eyes try and reason with ME. LOOK, David! Nothing out there, son. Nothing coming for you, no collectivist monsters, no pod people, no fires, no riots, no scary bans of words and ideas… Just a calm, quiet, tree-lined street, a few kids, some parked cars and well-cared-for lawns, birds, groundhogs, the occasional fox or deer, and in the night, the calming sounds of insects, calling to each other through the humid darkness.
And that is why I must find a way cut the Demon’s strings. Pull out the catheter that is in me, sever the IV drip of the feed that generates so much pain and fear in my heart. It does me no good. It does YOU no good when I spread my pain and fear to YOU. It is a circle-jerk of trauma and paranoia and anger at the possibility of losing all that is wonderful and good about this beautiful and free country.
Why are we doing this to ourselves? We have the power to stop it. We can pull the plug and the parasite falls off our backs. It WILL fight like hell to stay on there, and whatever lever it can push on you will be revealed when you attempt to disengage from the twenty-four hour cycle. It WANTS your fear and anger. NEEDS them. Without them, it dies quickly.
All the friends I lost in the last five years, all the hate, pain, anxiety, all those moments, all that righteous anger, the calls to action, the declarations of fealty, the bravado…
Start unplugging. Peel back one layer at a time and LET GO. You DON’T ACTUALLY NEED TO KNOW. Seriously. Just let it go. Don’t spread the bad, spread the GOOD instead. Spreading the bad is very seductive. “LOOK! Look at this awful thing! We must DO SOMETHING! LOOK AT IT! TELL OTHERS!”
How about you simply look out your window today, and act accordingly?
GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILIES.